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By Sheryl Kurland Todays the couple next door got divorced so it must be OK mentality leads many others to conclude that ditching their union is the only choice. Contrary to popular belief, marriage resuscitation is a viable option. If your marriage has hit a fork in the road, the following 10 pointers will help you and your spouse find renewed happiness together: 1. Accept that neither of you are exactly the same person as when you married. Experiences and events change us. Attempting to recapture what once was is futile. The relationship, much like a faltering business, has to be restructured to meet each others needs today. 2. Get to know each other again. In the busyness of life, spouses forget to focus on each other. Jobs, professional commitments, community activities and other obligations pull couples apart. To counter the tug-of-war, just as you schedule meetings for these responsibilities, make appointments to be together and re-connect. 3. Look in a mirror. Would you marry you? When a relationship hits the skids, natural inclination is to blame the other person. Instead, take a good, hard look at yourself. Do you still make an effort to look attractive (not to be confused with being skinny)? Are you proud of who you are? Do you have a healthy sense of self-worth? If you cant answer yes to these questions, theres work to be done. 4. Peel back arguments to identify their roots and modify how you handle your differences. When a dispute is stripped down to its core, its often discovered that the squabble was precipitated due to one spouse possessing a strength where the other has a weakness. The person with the strength has more knowledge, information, experience, skill/talent or education than his/her mate on the subject of the disagreement. A strength pit against a weakness turns into a fight. Rather than function in opposition, re-program yourselves to blend your differences. 5. Dont stick to the same old patterns, routines and habits. Predictability causes monotony. Sit down together and list the boring stuff. Then brainstorm new ways to do those things, creating a new list to spice up the relationship. 6. Create a couple tradition. Family traditions are commonplace, but what about traditions for just the two of you? Traditions can add excitement to a relationship, serve as an anchor, and provide glue for the union to remain sturdy when the going gets rough. Establish one or more traditions to make your relationship special year after year. 7. Love the one your with. Observations at the office, gym, social outings and elsewhere may lead you to believe that others are having all the fun. Dont be fooled. How many times have you seen the couple who seemed to have it all wind up in divorce court? Rather than wallow, devote mental energy to rekindling the romance between you and your mate. 8. To improve communication, eat marshmallows. Imagine that you have mouthful of marshmallows. Now, what is the one thing you absolutely cannot do? Talk. Thats precisely the pointCommunication is more about listening than talking. Also, never, ever, miss a good chance to shut up. Every comment doesnt need a retort. Every issue doesnt need another opinion. Speak up when its important, and keep your lips zipped when it isnt. What you dont say is often as important as what you do say. 9. Concentrate on the things you can change and dont try to fix things you cant. Display greater patience and tolerance for the things that your spouse does that bother you. Most quirks and annoying habits are negligible in the scheme of the entire relationship. 10. If you seek professional help, do so with a positive attitude. For marriage counseling to have a chance of success, a couple must start with the proper outlook. Think How can we revitalize our marriage? not Should we get a divorce? Taking action to transform a marriage that has fizzled into a renewed source of joy and pleasure requires time and patience. In the process, each spouse is likely to discover incredible strengths within themselves and the relationship. With steadfastness and perseverance, theres high probability that you will come out of the journey amazed to have opened a new world of opportunities with your marriage not only intact, but better than ever. Sheryl Kurland is author of the elegant coffee-table book Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls Of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More. 75 couples, “real-life” relationship experts, reveal the keys to a loving, lasting and fulfilling relationship. SIGN UP FOR FREE, WEEKLY EMAIL “TIME-TESTED RELATIONSHIP TIPS” FROM COUPLES MARRIED 50-PLUS YEARS AT http://www.EverlastingMatrimony.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sheryl_Kurland http://EzineArticles.com/?10-Ways-To-Prevent-Divorce-In-Your-Marriage&id=502047 where can i order xanax without a prescription cod pharmacies xanax xanax overnight no prescription buy phentermine valium xanax ambien